RSSHumor Attempts Archives
November 03, 2007
Safe from Pakistani worries
This just in on Pakistan: "Musharraf’s leadership is threatened by an increasingly defiant Supreme Court . . . ." Well, glad we don't face any dangers like that here in the USA.
Posted by Matthew Hogan at 11:08 PM | Comments (1)
June 10, 2007
Working on the Jane's Gang
First, there's Janes' All the World's Airships. Ok. Then, Jane's . . . . Fighting Ships. And Jane's Defence....Weekly. Now there's Jane's Defence Forecasts - Combat Vehicle Programmes, and Jane's Terrorism and Insurgency Centre.
I don't know who this Jane is but don't you get the impression she must be one helluva bitch?
Posted by Matthew Hogan at 02:30 PM | Comments (0)
March 18, 2007
Israeli bonds
The story has been abuzz of the Israeli Ambassador to El Salvador being found "in a street, drunk, wearing only bondage gear" with a rubber ball in his mouth (BBC). He was then recalled, if not fired, for "behaving indecently on a public thoroughfare." Now I see this dismissal as discouraging. FIrst, this is El Salvador, one country of the world in the past few years which has had a free election for an American-friendly Palestinian head of state. Even worse and most significant, however, is punishing that all too rare thing these days --- an Israeli diplomat associated with a compromising position.
Posted by Matthew Hogan at 10:18 PM | Comments (5)
March 16, 2007
Top of the Mourning Ta Ya -- Our Irish contributions to America
In due honor of my privileges on my own little sub-blog space, and of the holiday of St Patrick, I link and re-excerpt an old essay on the contributions of my Gaelic forbears to these here United States. I do disclaim to the humor-impaired and ethnically hypersensitive. And also to those who might not be sufficiently a language nerd to stand the esoteric digression on the Irish language, aka Gaelic. Anyway, I give you here the contributions of my ancestors to this great land.
Continue reading "Top of the Mourning Ta Ya -- Our Irish contributions to America"
Posted by Matthew Hogan at 12:48 AM | Comments (5)
March 03, 2007
The Swiss: Now Europe's Big Cheese?
First, ominous noises about expanded war in the Middle East, and now this anschluss, right in the heart of Europe. I am sure it happened like clockwork too. But would this mean that neither the Vatican nor the Red Cross can be neutral?
Posted by Matthew Hogan at 01:49 PM | Comments (8)
February 20, 2007
Google, you %$^^ tease, you
I love Google and all its works. If the name wasn't so masculine, I'd probably have the hots for it. Especially as Google is essentially an inviting opening in which you insert yourself. But I want to take note of a rare pet Google peeve, perhaps a feminine vice, I call the Google Tease. I bet you share the peeve and teasing experience, and I've contrived a gibberish situation to make it work.
Continue reading "Google, you %$^^ tease, you"
Posted by Matthew Hogan at 08:45 PM | Comments (3)
January 09, 2007
Is she speaking Farsi, and accurately?
The video is the place where all us suburban Americans first learned about the Middle East. Near the end, is she actually speaking (Farsi?, not Arabic for sure) and is it rendered accurately? I suspect it is either not her voice or it was dubbed in after reciting it in studio after much practice.
Posted by Matthew Hogan at 01:21 PM | Comments (23)
January 04, 2007
Automated Teller Machines (ATMs) Are Laughing At Us
I know it's irrational, but whenever I use an ATM, I always feel that the machine takes longer to give me money the lower my bank balance is. On the rare occasions I have high digits in the account, it's like {Amount} {$40} {Enter} {Accept}.{Beep}{instantly we hear: chuga-chuga-chuga-chuga-flllrrrp} {"Please take your cash now"}. But when the balance is like double digits, it goes like this {Amount, $40} {Enter} {Accept} {Beep}........................................................................{advertisement on screen}.........................................{another beep}...............................................................................{Please wait}............................................{chuga-chuga-sudden stop}.......................................{another ad on screen}....................{me: "please work. please work"}.................{chuga-chuga-chuga-chuga-chuga} {no cash yet}..........{chuga-chuga-chugap}...{door opens slowly, creak}.........{pause}..........then the relieving sound of {flllrp}.{"please take your cash (before we pull it back)"}. And then, I swear for a too-fast-to-see microsecond it flashes some jeering remark.
Continue reading "Automated Teller Machines (ATMs) Are Laughing At Us"
Posted by Matthew Hogan at 08:15 PM | Comments (3)
December 21, 2006
Christmas, for Heathens
With the Aqoul readership an eclectic mess largely of various Mideast backgrounds, many being of locally-prevalent faiths or having apostasized therefrom, I thought I'd give some background on the Christmas holiday. Especially as it takes place among us Americans. There should be enough detail here to help you in the many trivia contests you'll being doing to pass your inevitable time in eternal hellfire.
Continue reading "Christmas, for Heathens"
Posted by Matthew Hogan at 06:14 PM | Comments (12)
